a message that arrived while I was sleeping
I hear the ancient call — the voice of the ancient mother, of our ancestors, the hum of the soul’s home.
They whisper to me about the journey that awaits.
A journey home, deep into the self.
Through silence and sound, darkness and light, stillness and chaos, fear and childlike wonder.
Back to the place I came from — so that I may bring a new soul from that timeless, magical space into this fragile, fleeting world.
It is new only here.
There, in the soul’s home, it is eternal.
Long ago, we already made this agreement: when and how this little one would arrive.
And now, as the moment draws near, the feeling returns… slowly. Like a dream I almost forgot.
Something familiar, just beyond reach. Hovering, soft and veiled.
I am awaiting this journey.
By the way — women have access to this sacred space not only during childbirth.
Every month, through connection with our womb and our blood, we can enter and return with the guidance and gifts we need.
It is a miracle.
One that we often resist. Silence. Deny.
And the soul cries out.
When we resist the soul’s call, it creates deep disharmony — in spirit, mind, and body.
The womb is a gateway.
And it helps us remember the way home.
Sometimes the knocking grows louder — because we have ignored the whisper for too long.
Let us listen.
To our womb.
To our soul.
Behind that call, countless gifts await.
Birth altar
For about a month now, I’ve been sculpting a Sheela na gig figurine out of clay, made especially for this moment.
Its purpose is to remind me — to remind us — that when the time comes, a woman can open a portal vast and sacred, through which a child may pass.
As doula Ingula once beautifully said in a meditation:
we can imagine the most exquisite flower opening wide, with the baby inside it, ready to bloom into the world.
The skull on the altar is dedicated to the goddess of death — a guide in some cultures who watches over the space between worlds. She helps souls leave, and also helps them arrive.
Some believe she gently turns the baby in the womb, guiding the head downward for birth.
There are also statuettes of other mother goddesses:
Kuan Yin, Kali, Eve, Gabija, Pele, and a picture of Mary.
Images that help me connect with the feminine:
moon women, cats, pregnant bodies, and a painting I once made of the womb in my own blood.
Blue crystals — for me, a symbol of Archangel Michael.
Photos of my parents.
And the small angel symbolizing the soul who came to us last year for only a brief moment — but brought us so much wisdom, preparing the way for the baby who is coming now.
A birthing candle.
And finally, shiva lingam stones, highly recommended for labor by our beloved mineral guide, Vitalijus.