Brief Instructions for Male Therapist
A few months ago, I wanted to write this post after hearing several women's stories about their experiences with male spiritual teachers and healers. Those stories made me pause and wonder — am I being naïve? Or do some men genuinely not understand what’s appropriate and what crosses the line when working with women in a spiritual or therapeutic setting?
Because frankly, it seems like many have not yet learned to separate their sexuality from their work.
So here’s a quick memo — for male therapists, healers, facilitators, and even massage therapists (though this can apply to women too — I just haven’t personally heard these kinds of stories involving female practitioners):
📌 A Short Code of Ethics
1. Leave all sexual energy out of the session.
Yes, even if you think it’s mutual.
If a woman comes to you for healing, she’s likely entering a vulnerable state — emotionally, physically, energetically. She is there to receive support, not seduction. Healing and spiritual processes often open internal doors, lower defenses, and create deep trust. It’s not her job to maintain those boundaries — it’s yours.
2. “But what if she initiates something sexual?”
Your answer should still be: no.
You are the one holding the space. You are responsible for the integrity of the process, regardless of what unfolds in the moment.
3. “What if I fall in love with her?”
Great — if it’s real, it can wait.
Let her leave, come back to herself, integrate the experience. Reach out in a few days — and only in a neutral context, not under the pretense of further therapy. Let her say no.
4. “But my work involves sexual healing...”
If your methods involve touch in erogenous zones, sexual energy practices, or even full intercourse — be transparent. Let clients know before they book with you. Give them the full truth so they can make an informed choice. This is not about shaming the work — it’s about consent.
2019-07-16
🔥 A Note on Male Massage Therapists
It saddens me how often massage — a sacred, healing modality — becomes a site of trauma for women.
Why does this happen so often?
In my experience, many male massage therapists have strongly activated sexual energy. When energy centers (chakras) are out of balance — especially when the sacral chakra is overactive — it can lead to unhealthy projections, even if unintentional. And when someone like that works with the intimate, vulnerable body of a client, it can quickly become dangerous.
Honestly, I have a number of friends and acquaintances in the massage world, and I would not recommend more than half of the male massage therapists I know to women.
That’s not to say all men are unsafe. But I urge women to be very cautious when choosing a male massage therapist. This is unfair to the good, respectful men — but unfortunately, violations are not rare. Use your intuition. Stay alert. And if something feels off — say no.
If you’re looking for a safe, healing massage experience that supports not just the body but also the emotional and spiritual self, I highly recommend:
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Rūta Katiliūtė – kvapualchemija.lt
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Ieva Matulė – prisilietimojega.lt
😔 What Happens When Lines Are Crossed
Once, while holding space in a women’s circle, I heard several women share stories of being harassed during massage sessions. That same week, I attended a shamanic ceremony where I felt an overwhelming wave of rage — the collective pain of violated women and children. I physically vomited from the intensity of that energy, that distortion of sacred masculine sexuality.
But here’s the thing: sexual energy, in its pure form, is sacred. It’s life-giving. It’s beautiful. And men, too, deserve to reclaim that sacredness.
So if you've been harmed or shaken by such experiences, I want to offer this:
Remember transformation is possible.
Return to your own power, body, and light.
I highly recommend Ho’oponopono as a practice of energetic release:
"I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you."
(You don’t have to say it to anyone directly — just speak it to your higher self.)
Also, find spaces where you can share. If you’re a woman seeking a safe, supportive space, consider joining the Red Tent (Raudonas Palapinės) Facebook group. You can speak your truth there, even name those who crossed lines — and protect others in the process.
If you can, join a women’s circle. The healing of being seen and heard, without judgment, is profound.
💬 A Final Message from Spirit
Today, I drew two oracle cards. One showed Mary Magdalene — urging us not to be silent. The other was Jesus — reminding us of the power of forgiveness.
Both truths are needed:
Speak your truth. And when you are ready — heal.
2/3/2022