For a long time, I was prone to depressive states. I use the term depressive states intentionally — I was never officially diagnosed with depression, but there was a stage in my teenage years when I felt constantly tired, drained, and disinterested in life. I even went for medical tests at a clinic because I thought something must be physically wrong. Almost every doctor I saw — even in brief appointments — recommended I see a "sadness doctor." But I didn’t want to admit that my issue wasn’t physical (especially since all tests showed I was healthier than the average city kid). I didn’t go.
During those months, I often didn’t want to do anything — not even get out of bed. Life felt meaningless.
What Helped Me
What helped restore meaning, more than anything, was volunteering at an animal shelter. Helping someone else — even a small being — and seeing that your presence can change or save a life is a powerful reminder that our lives matter. That we matter.
Physically, what helped me most was cleaning out my body — raw food, fasting, detoxes. A healthier diet had a huge effect on my emotional state.
The hardest part, though, is that when you’re in the depth of that state, you don’t want to do anything — especially not take care of yourself. But I believe if someone finds even a little strength to ask for help, they’ve already taken the first step toward change.
First: Is It Just Physical Exhaustion?
Sometimes what feels like depression is really deep physical fatigue. In that case, the best thing you can do is rest. Just give yourself the time and permission to stop. Even one week away from your daily life — allowing yourself to sleep deeply and regularly — can change everything.
Because you cannot pour from an empty cup. If you try to keep giving — to kids, family, work — when you have nothing left, it doesn’t serve anyone. In fact, it can cause subconscious resentment or burnout on both sides. Replenishing yourself is not selfish. It’s wise.
Depression as the Pleasure of the Lower Self
One insight that really helped me came from a friend who once said:
“Depression is the pleasure of the lower self.”
It struck a chord. I began to notice that, in a way, I enjoyed the state — it felt safe. It let me be a victim. I didn’t have to care, take responsibility, or move. I could just feel sorry for myself.
The moment I recognized that, the "victim" vanished. I realized this was a choice — not a conscious one, but a kind of emotional habit. And when I found myself sinking into that space again, instead of fighting it, I would let it be. If I was going to stay in it, I may as well fully feel it.
And when I stopped resisting, the suffering lessened — and the state passed more quickly.
Don’t Forget the Physical Causes
Sometimes what we call depression is actually a physical imbalance:
Magnesium, vitamin D, and probiotics are essential.
Recent studies even show that magnesium can be more effective than antidepressants in treating depression. In fact, almost every person who has attempted or completed suicide had serious magnesium deficiencies.
Personally, I’m addicted to magnesium salt baths (Epsom salts). The first time I tried them, I felt such a difference that I now always keep bags of salt ready at home. Also, ceremonial-grade cacao is a beautiful and natural magnesium source.
On Antidepressants
Let medication be the last resort — and never let it become your crutch. If antidepressants are needed at some point in life, that’s okay. But from the first day, understand: they are not a solution. They are a temporary aid. Use that aid to stabilize yourself and take steps toward deeper healing — so you can eventually let them go.
Depression isn’t a lack of antidepressants in your system. And many people become deeply dependent on them. I’ve seen this firsthand.
From a spiritual perspective, these medications often block emotional processing. They suppress not just sadness, but everything — leaving a backlog of emotional energy. I’ve seen people coming off these meds have overwhelming spiritual processes because all those suppressed emotions rush forward at once. Weaning off antidepressants, in many cases, requires deep support — just like detoxing from any drug.
You’re Not a Failure — You’re an Alchemist
And if guilt creeps in — “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be like normal people?” — remember this:
Every time you face heavy emotional energy and come through it, you’re not just helping yourself. You’re helping to transmute darkness on a collective level. You are turning shadow into light — not just for yourself, but for the Earth.
That is spiritual alchemy.
After every inner storm, something in your inner garden blooms brighter. Trust the process. Love yourself.
A Few Supportive Practices
When you feel light enough to try something, I recommend exploring any of the following to support emotional and energetic cleansing:
- Spiritual courses or therapy
- Bach flower remedies
- Kambo
- Intestinal cleansing
- Fasting, juicing, raw or alkaline diet
- Acupuncture
- Creativity (art, journaling, expression)
- Physical movement (yoga, qigong, walking in nature)
[Edit: 2022-07-31] I would now add Blue Lotus and Red Lotus to this list — these sacred plants have also supported me in such emotional states.